Never Meant To Be
by Valoja
Summary: Opening your eyes after having died years ago, you find yourself wondering what had happened and search a certain group of heroes in the hopes of receiving their help with the puzzle you have become. Years later, Cloud finds the diary you had kept during your second life, realising you never did tell them what had been going on. Reader x Cloud
1. The End

**Never Meant To Be**

You closed your eyes as you listened to Tifa as she encouraged Denzel to enter the pool of water where Cloud was waiting for him.

The pool of water that Aeris had created to cure the Geostigma in Edge.

Though, that was what the pool was for everyone else, but for you it was a sign your friend had given you.

You were supposed to step into the pool and disappear soon after, being pulled away from the life that was once accidentally given to you.

"[F/N]..." Tifa's soft voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked up to see her eyes; she knew. It was then that you noticed the cheering that had filled the air some time ago, and you realized Denzels Geostigma had been cured.

You looked up to see Cloud smiling up at you, making your heart fill with pain. You didn't want to leave Tifa and the others, but most of all, you didn't want to leave Cloud.

In the short time that you had stayed in Edge, you had grown pretty close to him, too close.

You looked over your shoulder, seeing Aeris smile at Cloud and then at you before walking through the door together with Zack. You looked back to Cloud, who was still smiling at you.

You took a deep breath before you stood up from where you were sitting, ignoring the glances from Tifa and the others as you took a slight step forward.

Your boot sunk into the water, followed by the rest of your leg. As you felt your shoe hit the ground, you repeated the movement with your other foot.

You glanced over your shoulder one last time, smiling at the group standing there while watching you.

As you slowly walked through the pool towards Cloud, you felt your energy being drained because of the water engulfing the lower-part of your body.

Finally standing in front of the blonde, you wrapped your arms tightly around him.

"[F/N]... Why?" he whispered sadly, which told you that he knew as well. You shook your head, not knowing what to say.

A tickling feeling wrapped itself around your body, and as you glanced down you saw that your body was starting to glow softly.

"It's better this way... I was never meant to be, anyway," you mumbled as you slowly started to disappear.

Cloud's eyes widened slightly as he felt your hold around him linger a little longer before disappearing together with you.

"Never meant to be..." your silent voice whispered through his mind.


	2. Day 1

Cloud let out a small sigh as he placed a small box on the table in the room. He slowly opened the box, waving his hand around to get rid of the dust that flew up with the gesture.

He blinked a few times before looking into the box, slightly surprised by what he found. A small smile appeared on his face as he reached out for the object inside of it.

After he carefully lifted it out of the box, he blew on it, making a cloud of dust jump up and swirl around in the air. Somehow, the dust reminded him of you.

He examined the object, which turned out to be a book, before reading what was written on it.

He read your name written on the cover in your handwriting; curly and slightly bending over to the right. It was just as he remembered it.

More dust sprang up as he slowly opened the book, but he ignored it as his eyes curiously scanned the pages.

_XX/XX/XXXX_

Day 1

I don't know what happened, or why it happened. It just did, though I don't understand it yet. Not that I ever will. I suddenly woke up and found myself lying outside on the ground. It was a warm day, I remember that.

The first thing that happened after that was that someone spoke to me. I couldn't see her, only hear her. It was weird, but compared to the fact that I was suddenly alive made it seem normal. She told me who she was, who I was and what had happened. I had actually died quite some time ago, but this 'Life Stream' had accidentally given me a second life.

Aeris, the girl who was speaking to me, told me we had been friends. She, too, had died several years ago, having been killed by some guy called Sephiroth who I vaguely seemed to remember, but not much. Somehow, she had gotten the ability to communicate with people through said Life Stream.

She gave me all the information I needed to live this temporary life, telling me where to go and what to say to the people who lived there. I followed everything she said perfectly, and indeed, I found myself standing in front of a friendly woman. Tifa was her name. She had been Aeris' friend as well, fighting together with her to save the world. I had been awestruck; 'saving the world' just seemed so impossible for me. But I guess I shouldn't be saying that, since I was living a life I shouldn't be living.

Together with Tifa, I met all of Aeris' other friends. They all seemed so trustworthy, it didn't surprise me that Tifa had let them cover her back. They seemed... different, but I knew, I felt that they were good people. But maybe that was just Aeris' doing.

There was Yuffie, some weird Ninja who kept on mumbling about some 'materia' that had been stolen from her. I thought she was talking about some kind of food and it would take a while until I actually found out that they were objects that could give one incredible powers.

Cid was, according to Tifa, a typical guy who just loved machines and that became rather obvious pretty soon when he started telling me about some plane of his. Most of the things I didn't understand and I had to swallow my pride and shame in order to ask him questions about everything he was blabbering about. Luckily for me, Cid actually looked as if he were beaming in happiness at the chance of talking about his love even more.

Another weirdo was Vincent. The others had taken a liking to calling him a vampire and he did seem rather gloomy. He merely grunted and I translated it to him accepting me as one of the group.

At last, this one guy, Cloud, seemed to pull my attention more than the others did, though he seemed more like one of the 'normal' people. I heard from Aeris that he was the 'hero' of the group, though he didn't strike me as one.

If I'd look into this knowledge given to me and I'd search for 'hero', the image of a well-built, kind-hearted (and talking) knight dressed in shining armour on a white horse would appear in my mind. Yes, he was well-built, and handsome-looking, but he hadn't talked throughout the whole meeting so I didn't know if he actually was kind-hearted. His shining armour had been replaced with black leather and his white horse turned out to be a black motor cycle. Not that I minded… If I had to choose between the knight and Cloud, I'd definitely choose Cloud. Much more realistic. 


	3. Day 2

_X1/XX/XXXX_

_Day 2_

_Last night I slept at Tifa's place, because apparently it was impossible for me to return to where I had once lived but she wouldn't say anything further on that subject. Today, Tifa had taken the day off. It looked to me that she had done so specially for me, but she kept on insisting that she had some personal errands to do (all of which she 'forgot' to do, of course). She showed me around the place, telling me this city was called Edge, built after a Meteor had destroyed Midgar. Hearing that hurt me for some reason and I concluded that I must have lived there before my death. Tifa did not want to look at me when I asked her if that was true, but I would find out later that day exactly what had happened. First she showed me around the shops in the city and we somehow bumped into – guess who – no one other than Cloud Strife himself. Tifa explained to me that he had some kind of delivery service going on and today seemed to be a good day for the man, for the corners of his lips were slightly pointing upwards. Later I would conclude that he may be just a shy boy, because as he joined us on our tour through the streets of Edge he seemed to use that pretty mouth of his much more than expected. He even asked me a few questions about what I remembered of my past and when I said to him that I thought I might come from Midgar, that very same expression that had been on Tifa's face an hour ago was visible on his too. It made me feel quite irritated but I wouldn't dare show this to the people who were being so kind to me while I was wondering about in this mysterious second life I was given. So instead I just waited in the hope that they would someday tell me what was going on here. I am not quite sure if I was lucky or rather unlucky to find out why they made such painful expressions only in the second day that I had re-opened my eyes._

_They took me away from the bustling streets of Edge, over the highway and it seemed to take hours until I was finally allowed to step off Cloud's vehicle. The first thing that I felt had been confusion, because the place where we had been looked horrible. Dear whoever is reading this, you must try your best to picture a piece of land that one day might have been a beautiful, bustling place, home to many different kinds of people. I instinctively felt where all this was going and before Tifa could explain anything, I asked if this dead wasteland had been Sector 7. Even the sky above what used to be the plate itself seemed to be dark and grey. I didn't dare look at Tifa, in fear that she might nod but it was all in vain because I now knew what this was. I don't remember much of what happened next – please forgive me for that, dear reader – except for the tears that had appeared as if by magic while I tried to find my way through the remains of the slums of Sector 7, the place that used to be my home. I found the remains of a tiny garden that had managed to grow wildly because of the sudden lack of darkness and remembered watching a neighbour trying to cultivate it, but back then it had all been in vain. I walked past collapsed houses and I somehow even managed to recognise the building that used to be mine. I can vaguely picture Tifa and Cloud joining me in my search for memories as I dug through the stones that used to make up the walls of my home. As if by some kind of miracle, hidden under a rock, I found the picture that you might still find on the other side of this page. I could not look at it and did not want to, for I found the gap of my parents' appearance in my memories quite blissful, no matter how selfish that might seem. But everything seemed to get worse when I remembered there had been a special spot in all the rubble, but not knowing what made it so special I was dumb enough to climb over the dirt to find it. In a flash I remembered my very last moments, the sound of explosions and then the amazing sight of the plate that had always been my roof slowly falling._

Cloud blinked in surprise at the abrupt ending, wondering if maybe it had still been too fresh to write down after all. He turned the page and found the picture that you had mentioned to still be there, in the exact same condition as when you had found it on that day and remembered that he had never gotten a good look at it and went to inspect it.

It seemed to be an ordinary family picture that had been taken in a sunny place, maybe when they had been on holiday to somewhere other than under the plate? It was obvious who the parents were, standing tall and proud in the back while two younger people were kneeling in front of them. The girl was hugging a happy-looking dog while the girl in turn was being semi-tackled by a boy.

Cloud concluded that they must have been brother and sister for they had exactly the same hair colour. But then he seemed to forget how to breathe when he noticed the eyes of the girl, finding them to be exactly the same as those of the mysterious woman that had seemed to fall from the sky.

It still seemed far too weird to comprehend that one girl had lived in two completely different bodies, yet still be exactly the same girl nonetheless.


	4. Day 6

_X5/XX/XXXX_

_Day 6_

_Dear reader,_

_I am sorry for not writing something every day, but I found that there hasn't been much time to do so. My remembering part my death had been quite shocking to me, but I can understand and accept that, because who gets to see their death while being alive? _

_I think Tifa realised it as well and offered me to help around in the bar to take my mind away from everything going on right now. That way I only have the hours before I manage to fall asleep to think about things while during the day I am busy with helping Tifa._

_The people who come to the bar are mostly kind people who seem to accept me even when I feel uncomfortable telling them where I came from. What am I supposed to tell them? I'm dead but right now I'm not? I might risk making Tifa lose her customers!_

_Still, it is really interesting to work in a place like this where so many people – more specifically men – gather for a glass of beer. The stories they tell each other and us are always very intriguing and fun to listen, especially if it's that weird guy with the silly hat telling the story. He seems to have a real knack for it, somehow._

_One of the customers had recently caught his wife cheating on him and when he got mad at her and told him he'd had enough, she had been the one to get mad at him, accusing him the whole situation was his fault. Everyone had been laughing their asses off, except for the story-teller of course. I quickly tried to cheer him up by giving him another drink and I think it had worked._

_Another man told us how he, too, had been cheated on by his wife and that he slept with someone else as some kind of revenge. When his wife found out, she was furious and kicked him out of the house, though luckily it hadn't been his house. He didn't seem too sad about it though, he added that he had been searching for a reason to leave anyway._

_A third lad piped up, proudly yelling how he had already slept with four other women without his girlfriend finding out. The cheerful chattering quickly died down and everyone went to stare at him, almost unbelievably. The boy – he couldn't have been much older than twenty-five – shrunk back looking rather ashamed, to which the rest reacted by bursting out in laughter all at the same time._

_Later that evening, or should I say earlier that morning, once many of the cheering, drunk men had left, an old man sat by himself at the bar, shuffling his glass around with an annoyed look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he started muttering about noisy bastards ruining his evening._

_Then he looked up at me and investigated me carefully, like I was a horse he was going to buy. When he seemed to be done, he sat back a little and seemed relieved._

_Tifa came back from collecting empty glasses scattered all over the room and asked what was going on, to which the man grumpily started talking about a group of dangerous boys who had been making a mess at various places. _

_He had seen them himself, he claimed, and had managed to escape, but he had gotten a good look at them. They had silver hair, eyes like cats and they wore leather suits. _

_I tried my best to connect the dots, but I just couldn't understand why he was comparing me to those boys who were running around causing trouble lately, but the old man continued to stare at me as if he was expecting something from me. Even Tifa was looking at me!_

_And then I realised I hadn't looked in the mirror yet since waking up because I had thought I just looked the same as before. Luckily for me there was one in the bar so I immediately went to check my appearance. _

_Seeing who I was had been rather shocking. _

_Imagine looking in the mirror, expecting to see yourself, but you see someone else standing there, someone who looks completely different. Imagine how that might feel. And that's probably how I felt._

_I understood why the man had been so worried, because I had silver hair. The eyes weren't cat-like, they still seemed to be mine, so I didn't get a complete heart attack. The structure of my face, however, was different._

_The sun is starting to rise and I still can't sleep because of this._

Cloud frowned slightly as he remembered the next day. You had walked down the stairs looking like a zombie that morning and almost had that heart attack you thought you wouldn't get when you saw him sitting at the bar.

You had muttered an apology and came to sit next to him.

"Do I look evil?" you had asked him. He remembered that quite clearly, especially the fear that had been evident in your eyes as you waited for his answer. He had said no, and you had immediately looked a little better. He smiled at the memory.

Back then Cloud hadn't met the Remnants yet, hadn't even known about them. Who would have expected Sephiroth had anything to do with all that?


End file.
